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The Discothèque Option (from Tony Kollias)
Working in Europe, where English is often a second language, we often get some interesting support calls. One of my favorite is from a few years back, where a user was having a problem with her internet connection dropping every few minutes.
After spending a good fifteen minutes diagnosing and checking things on my end, I was unable to see anything that would have caused the problem. Even the logfiles – which detail unexpected connection drops – were clean. Nothing seemed to be the problem.
“I’ve run through everything on my end,” I explained to the user, “but unfortunately I can’t see anything. It could be a hardware issue, but before we go there, is there anything else you do beyond this point? Perhaps load another program?”
“Oh yes,” she said, “you know, I found a program at the bottom right of the screen. It is the one with two monitors, yes?”
“Yes,” I responded, a bit intrigued, “that’s the network connection notification icon. What about it?”
“Well,” she continued, “when I click it there are some options.”
She paused for a moment. I filled the silence with, “okay… and?”
“You see,” she explained, “the line drops when I try to run the discothèque option!”
I nearly burst into tears from laughing. Once I got a hold of myself, I explained that letters d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t spell out an entirely different word, and that the “two monitors” do not, unfortunately, have a discothèque.
She was disappointed yet relieved that her internet connection was no longer dropping.